we were worried about vaginas

what we call them, and don't call them.

In Great Neck, New York, they call it Pussycat. A woman there said that her mother used to tell her "Don't wear panties underneath your pajamas, dear, you need to air out your Pussycat"

in Westchester they called it a Pooki,

in New Jersey, a twat

there's Powderbox, a Poochi, A Poopi, a Peepe, a Poopelu, a Poonani, a Pal and a Piche,

Toadie, Dee dee, Nishi, Dignity, Monkey Box,

Coochi Snorcher, Cooter, Labbe,

Gladys Seagelman,

VA, Wee wee, Horsespot, Nappy Dugout,

Mongo, Mooky, a Pajama, Fannyboo, Mushmellow,

A Ghoulie, Possible, Tamale, Tottita, Connie,

a Mimi in Miami,

Split Knish in Philadelphia,

and Schmende in the Bronx.

We're worried about vaginas.